A beautiful, cute, and cozy game with nice drawing and animation. I wish the author good, happiness, and positivity! Is there any plan to add Russian to the game?
Thank you so much for your sweet words! 🌸 We’re really happy you enjoyed the art of the game, that means a lot to us! 💕 We’d love to add more languages in the future, including Russian, and hope to hire professional translators once we have the resources to do so!
Thank you so much for your kind words and support! 💕 For now, the story is planned up to around Chapter 9, though our general idea is to make around 15 chapters to complete the full story!
We do plan to create other games once we finish this one, or maybe even while we’re still working on Lussuria Academy, but they’d be more like little “holiday specials” than full new games!
And don’t worry, we have every intention of completing this story! Your excitement truly keeps us motivated to keep going until the very end! 🌸
(¡Muchas gracias por tus palabras y tu apoyo! 💕 Por ahora, la historia está planeada hasta alrededor del Capítulo 9, aunque nuestra idea general es hacer unos 15 capítulos para completar toda la historia. ✨
Planeamos crear otros juegos una vez que terminemos este, o incluso mientras seguimos trabajando en Lussuria Academy, pero serían más bien como pequeños “especiales de temporada” que juegos completamente nuevos. 🎁
¡Y no te preocupes! Tenemos toda la intención de completar esta historia. 🌸 Tu entusiasmo realmente nos motiva a seguir adelante hasta el final. 💕)
Aunque no se ingles el juego ne cautivo y me encanta que hagan varias actualizaciones constantes y espero que sigan hasi les doy mis felicitaciones, este juego es de mis favoritos junto a between beasts y algún día lo pasarán a español?
Thank you so much for your kind words! 💕 We’re really happy to know the game captivated you, even without understanding the language, that means a lot to us! 🌸 We do plan to hire a translator in the future, once we have the finances to do it. We’d love to bring the story to Spanish speaking players too!
(¡Muchas gracias por tus palabras tan amables! 💕 Nos alegra muchísimo saber que el juego te cautivó, incluso sin entender el idioma, ¡eso significa mucho para nosotros! 🌸 Tenemos planeado contratar a un traductor en el futuro, una vez que tengamos los recursos para hacerlo. ¡Nos encantaría llevar la historia también a los jugadores que hablan español!)
For my understanding the Patreon tire of 6 dollars is normally 12 but now it's 6 and if I buyied now it will be 6 forever until I desuscribe from you're Patreon?
Hi! Our Patreon is currently $6, and if you subscribe before the complete release of chapter 2, it will stay at $6 as long as you keep your subscription active! If you cancel and resubscribe later, the price will reset to $12 the discount only applies while your subscription remains active!
If in my country the dolar was cheaper i would be a partner, but 1 dolar in my country is almost 6 Reais. For comparison it would be (if it was reverted) 6 dolars for 1 real. But i will still continue to recomend this game to friends.
No worries at all! We’re just really happy you enjoyed the first chapter! And thank you so much for recommending the game to your friends, that kind of support means a lot to us! 💕
Hi! You’re right, we’ve already fixed that, but we can’t push the update right now because we’d get deindexed again, Unfortunately, it’ll have to wait until v1.4, which will come alongside the Chapter 2 demo! The button in the Main Menu will still alow you to Load, It's just missing in the Quick menu!
We plan to add translations into multiple languages in the future! We’d love to hire professional translators to let you have the best experience, but we need to wait until we have the necessary funds!
(¡Planeamos agregar traducciones a varios idiomas en el futuro! Nos encantaría contratar traductores profesionales para que tengas la mejor experiencia posible, ¡pero necesitamos esperar hasta tener los fondos necesarios!)
I loved chapter 1 so much and can't wait to see more. Also the characters are so well drawn I can not wait to see how the snake character will be introduced. :]
Thank you so much! We're glad you liked our character design! The events that will eventually lead to her arrival have already quietly begun in this first chapter <3
Small feedback. Feels weird seeing the CG where we meet Miel and the teacher calls her for not following the dress code then her sprite is wearing different clothes
Hi! First of all, thank you for trying our game! Regarding the scene, Miel removes her sweater to reveal the school uniform after the teacher tells her to do so!
That’s why, in the second half, she’s wearing what she was supposed to! She also ties up her hair with a wand to keep it tidy
The game so far is really fun and I absolutely adore the character-drawings.
There were quite a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes as well though with a lot of very long nested sentences that could have easily been broken apart. The pacing also seems a bit rushed, we meet Miel and two minutes later she tells us her entire lifestory for example. Similarly the Oliver part seems kind of out of place with where and when it happened.
That all being said: I really enjoyed what I played so far and am definitely going to continue playing future releases, I just wanted to give you honest feedback on what I thought about the existing parts up to now
Thank you so much for the feedback! We’re doing our best to keep the text as clean as possible, but since English isn’t our first language, we apologize for any mistakes. We’ll make sure to correct them whenever we notice them!
For Miel, this is actually the very first game and story we’ve ever written, honestly, we had no idea if the game would even get any downloads, but the support we’ve received has been incredible! Because of that, we’re already working on everything that still needs improvement! Alongside new chapters, we’ll also keep refining the existing ones, for example in v1.2 we completely remade the teacher design
As for Miel's story, at first we weren’t sure if the character would be appreciated or if her story would even matter to players. That’s why we presented it in a simpler way, mainly to see if readers cared (which we quickly realized they do) From now on, every interaction will feel much more natural!
Thank you again for trying our game and supporting us!
Something that might help for the grammar and spelling mistakes is having one or two proofreader, preferably people who's first language is English (for the english version at least). Anyways, is there going to be a Discordserver for the game?
I played v1.2, Things I meant are for example something like very early on "So, Lussuria Academy huh, I'll [...]" Where something like "So Lussuria academy, Huh? I'll [...]" Feels a lot more intuitive to me for example. Also "Great i have to mean the principal." should be "Great, I [...]" In the Cafeteria the food appers from "tin air" instead of from "thin air" Over all there are a lot of small "I" and "I'm' and such
I am very much looking forward to the new releases! Is the game going to be a pure VN or will it have Sandbox parts?
This game is perfect, it was exactly what I was looking for, it has beautiful characters and art, and I really hope the project doesn't die because I loved the game and its style. And it would be interesting if you added the Portuguese language in the future.
Thank you so much! We’re really happy you’re enjoying it so far ❤️ No worries, we’re fully committed to finishing it! Chapter 2’s demo will be available for our Patreon supporters in the next few days, and released for free in a couple of weeks (We already planned the story up to the very end of the game!).
Regarding languages, we’ve received a lot of requests and we’d love to support as many major languages as possible! As soon as we can afford translators, we’ll get to work on implementing them all!
No prob. Honestly I usually wait for 2 or 3 chapters to download something but the art is just so... soft... invitng,,, warm... not sure how to explain it but I just feel relaxed and wanting to immerse myself in it.
We plan to add translations into multiple languages in the future! We’d love to hire professional translators to let you have the best experience, but we need to wait until we have the necessary funds!
I really hit the jackpot with getting to this when i did. I've had the tab open for a week and just today got to playing it. Thanks for the android version!
It seems like a very decent start of something? I have a lot of notes and feedback, but obviously you have a vision for this project. The most positive thing is that Miel's interactions are very enjoyable. Almost to the point I think the other characters will struggle to compete with her. But we shall see. The most negative thing I can say is a lot of the worldbuilding of the human-anthro conflict is sparse, and paints a very confusing picture if one tries to imagine how it all works, especially with the fact revealed later that anthros are basically magical-based creatures? I go over this more in my notes. Pacing is also kind of all over the place, but this isn't exactly the most rare of issues with itch VN's. though it does improve once Miel is introduced. I get you want to leave the MC blank, but it doesn't hurt to at least spend another 100 or so words to explain what's going on with him.
Alright, I'll start my feedback/observations now, based off my notes I took while playing.
1. intro and the entire conflict
Ugh, another "humans are the bad guys/instigators" trope is what I thought during the intro news report. Though I held my tongue and assumed more would be revealed later on. However I ended up having much more questions than answers by the end.
So, the anthro protesters in the beginning want equal rights with humans? Okay, so that kind of implies that anthros and humans have some kind of interactions already, though negative ones. The thing is, almost every character in the game has never seen a human before, so this implies that their societies are not integrated at all, if no one sees one another. But, at the same time, the school has a hybrid attending it?
The whole magic thing adds another confusing element. Is magic exclusive to anthros? The MC seems surprised by it, so I assume so. Why are magical beings incapable of gaining equal rights?l Do humans possess advanced technology that negates magic? The "advanced tech lab" seems to imply that it's not the case, unless the tech lab is anthros attempting to understand human technology, because it confuses them.
The MC involvement really needed a lot more fleshing out IMO. He's simply picked because he's picked. More options to say "I'm glad i Was picked, I am indifferent to being picked, I hate being picked."
This is my main problem with the pacing that I listed earlier.
I expected the Principal scene to fill in a lot of the world details but it was literally just "okay you're here, don't fuck this up"
2. *actions* and certain dialogue
I notice that *these* were showing up quite often. I am perfectly fine with this, but IMO a normal description of a bell going off is infinitely more fun to read compared to "ringbell goes off* (which by the way, is on the verge of being grammatical incorrect.) or *call incoming*
The tiger girl said <3. Personal opinion, but emotes and didalogue do not mix in a VN IMO.
..Even should be ...Even This popped up a lot. using 2 dots for ellipses instead of 3.
"Better start heading inside I guess"
Why did the CG show the MC inside the school already when this was said?
"you don't have a fur" should probably be "you don't have fur," OR make it "You don't have fur, wings, a tail, nothing..."
"I knew someone from your species were coming, but I didn't expect it" Should it be 'was coming'?
There really needed to be a double take "what kind of person starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!" option when Red Panda girl (Skye? Sorry, terrible with names) says "wanna mate?" when you first meet her.
"Outcast" during Miel and Oliver's scene was a weird word choice, given the MC hasn't done anything for people to think of him as an outcast (unless the their was a rumour started that the MC was rejected from human schools or something?)
I thought this scene was a good example of how to give the player a ton of options to choose what happens. It also had a lot of good character moments. You should use this as a template going forward for anything dramatic IMO.
*Bruh* Okay that made me laugh but I feel like the MC going "wha-" would be more fitting.
'toghether' instead of 'together' in the "let's do it" choice.
This isn't related to dialogue or actions, but please add buttons to this or future NSFW scenes so we don't need to click 10 times to advance the scene. (Slow/increase pace, and continue)
3. Final thoughts
This VN does do that thing where you optionally fuck someone on your first day,, which I always think is a little fast, but I thought it was fitting for Skye's character to do that (I kind of expected her to be one of those "all talk, no actual experience" girls, though.)
First of all, thank you very much for taking the time to write such detailed feedback! We really appreciate it. English isn’t our first language, so some of the issues you pointed out (phrasing, grammar, pacing in dialogue) are especially useful for us to improve!
To address your points:
Worldbuilding and Intro Conflict
Most of the lore and worldbuilding (human/anthro conflict, segregation, magic, etc.) is planned to come out in later chapters. We didn’t want the first chapter to be just a long info dump of how things work, so instead we chose to ease the reader into it with more “day-to-day” interactions and more natural description later.
Why the MC is considered an outcast will become clearer in the story, it’s tied to something that happened and seemed small in this chapter but will develop into something much bigger!
The school’s structure, dorms, and why everything is contained inside the academy is a crucial point in why the student stated that they "never saw a human" The segregation caused by the conflict will play a central role later and it will explain more why the mc is the first human they see. For magic, how it works, why it works the way it does, and why it causes tension/why human didn't use it will also get much more depth in upcoming chapters.
Characters & Interactions
Every girl in the school (and in the game overall) will have her own background, story, and personal conflicts for the MC to get involved in, Miel’s family issues being just one example.
The snake character is indeed the hybrid, (we didn't want to spoil it like this, but it seems it caught your attention).
The MC being “randomly” chosen is intentional for now, we can't say much more for now sorry :c
Pacing & Style
We know the pacing is a bit fast at the start, and your suggestion about giving the MC more dialogue options (his feelings about being chosen, etc.) is something we’ll definitely consider! We didn't want the reader to be too pushed on an approach to something rather than another so we took the decision to make it more "neutral
Your point about the NSFW scenes (adding buttons to control pacing) is noted and will definitely be improved in future builds!
Again, thank you for taking the time to try out our game! your notes help us see what’s working well (like Miel’s interactions!) and what needs more refinement. We have a lot of worldbuilding and story to roll out in the next chapters, and we want to deliver it in a way that feels natural rather than overwhelming
Oh, that's really good to hear! I do get that this is more or less just a demo right now and yeah, having to read a lot about the world right away could easily turn people off. I'll just have to wait and see how it all plays out over time. Oh, and sorry about kinda spoiling the hybrid thing, but I was honestly just guessing because I saw people wondering why her face looked like that, and once I actually played it and got the hybrid clue I was like "Oh, is it her?"
Damn, this is really cool! Seems like there’s some lore in the world too, which never hurts, will there be new characters? So far I’ve only seen 3 girls (not counting the principal). Will more be introduced, or will the story mainly focus on them?
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A beautiful, cute, and cozy game with nice drawing and animation. I wish the author good, happiness, and positivity! Is there any plan to add Russian to the game?
Thank you so much for your sweet words! 🌸 We’re really happy you enjoyed the art of the game, that means a lot to us! 💕 We’d love to add more languages in the future, including Russian, and hope to hire professional translators once we have the resources to do so!
If you want, I can help you with this, from the bottom of my heart! Without any material benefit for me :3
Una pregunta el juego cuantos capítulos se planea tener me encanta tanto que quiero jugarlos todos y más al estar en Android
una pregunta más cuando se termine el desarrollo del juego aran otro?
Espero también que no abandones este juego que e jugado varios que an sido abandonados por favor sigue desarrollando en juego hasta el final
Thank you so much for your kind words and support! 💕 For now, the story is planned up to around Chapter 9, though our general idea is to make around 15 chapters to complete the full story!
We do plan to create other games once we finish this one, or maybe even while we’re still working on Lussuria Academy, but they’d be more like little “holiday specials” than full new games!
And don’t worry, we have every intention of completing this story! Your excitement truly keeps us motivated to keep going until the very end! 🌸
(¡Muchas gracias por tus palabras y tu apoyo! 💕 Por ahora, la historia está planeada hasta alrededor del Capítulo 9, aunque nuestra idea general es hacer unos 15 capítulos para completar toda la historia. ✨
Planeamos crear otros juegos una vez que terminemos este, o incluso mientras seguimos trabajando en Lussuria Academy, pero serían más bien como pequeños “especiales de temporada” que juegos completamente nuevos. 🎁
¡Y no te preocupes! Tenemos toda la intención de completar esta historia. 🌸 Tu entusiasmo realmente nos motiva a seguir adelante hasta el final. 💕)
Chapter one ends with fucking someone 😂 wonder what chapter 2 will end with! (Not purchasing it tho sooo wish I could but..)
Thank you so much for trying our game! 💕 Chapter 2 will be free as well and we can’t wait to share it with you!
Aunque no se ingles el juego ne cautivo y me encanta que hagan varias actualizaciones constantes y espero que sigan hasi les doy mis felicitaciones, este juego es de mis favoritos junto a between beasts y algún día lo pasarán a español?
Thank you so much for your kind words! 💕 We’re really happy to know the game captivated you, even without understanding the language, that means a lot to us! 🌸 We do plan to hire a translator in the future, once we have the finances to do it. We’d love to bring the story to Spanish speaking players too!
(¡Muchas gracias por tus palabras tan amables! 💕 Nos alegra muchísimo saber que el juego te cautivó, incluso sin entender el idioma, ¡eso significa mucho para nosotros! 🌸 Tenemos planeado contratar a un traductor en el futuro, una vez que tengamos los recursos para hacerlo. ¡Nos encantaría llevar la historia también a los jugadores que hablan español!)
For my understanding the Patreon tire of 6 dollars is normally 12 but now it's 6 and if I buyied now it will be 6 forever until I desuscribe from you're Patreon?
Because I didn't really understand
Hi! Our Patreon is currently $6, and if you subscribe before the complete release of chapter 2, it will stay at $6 as long as you keep your subscription active! If you cancel and resubscribe later, the price will reset to $12 the discount only applies while your subscription remains active!
Ok now I understand thank you
I loved this first chapter, every caracter that was introduced is fun, the story is good. Keep up with the good work guys
Thank you! Hearing that you enjoyed the characters and story really brightens our day ✨
If in my country the dolar was cheaper i would be a partner, but 1 dolar in my country is almost 6 Reais. For comparison it would be (if it was reverted) 6 dolars for 1 real. But i will still continue to recomend this game to friends.
No worries at all! We’re just really happy you enjoyed the first chapter! And thank you so much for recommending the game to your friends, that kind of support means a lot to us! 💕
I LOVED THIS GAME SO MUCH 😭😭 like I need the second chapter
That means so much to us! Chapter 2 isn’t far off, promise we’re working hard on it! 💖
also my friend would like to know if he could install this game on his phone 😭
Yes, he can! We have an Android build available to download right here on itch! 📱
He said thank you very much 💖
holy cosy pastell colors
Thank you so much! We’re so happy you enjoyed the color palette! 🎨
Whay is thare no load option in the menu
Hi! You’re right, we’ve already fixed that, but we can’t push the update right now because we’d get deindexed again, Unfortunately, it’ll have to wait until v1.4, which will come alongside the Chapter 2 demo! The button in the Main Menu will still alow you to Load, It's just missing in the Quick menu!
¿Está en español?
We plan to add translations into multiple languages in the future! We’d love to hire professional translators to let you have the best experience, but we need to wait until we have the necessary funds!
(¡Planeamos agregar traducciones a varios idiomas en el futuro! Nos encantaría contratar traductores profesionales para que tengas la mejor experiencia posible, ¡pero necesitamos esperar hasta tener los fondos necesarios!)
Congratulations to whoever decorated the page, very beautiful.
Thank you so much! We’re really happy that someone noticed! 💗
终于回来了
YESSIR!
I loved chapter 1 so much and can't wait to see more. Also the characters are so well drawn I can not wait to see how the snake character will be introduced. :]
Thank you so much! We're glad you liked our character design! The events that will eventually lead to her arrival have already quietly begun in this first chapter <3
Small feedback.
Feels weird seeing the CG where we meet Miel and the teacher calls her for not following the dress code then her sprite is wearing different clothes
Hi! First of all, thank you for trying our game!
Regarding the scene, Miel removes her sweater to reveal the school uniform after the teacher tells her to do so!
That’s why, in the second half, she’s wearing what she was supposed to! She also ties up her hair with a wand to keep it tidy
The game so far is really fun and I absolutely adore the character-drawings.
There were quite a few grammatical errors and spelling mistakes as well though with a lot of very long nested sentences that could have easily been broken apart.
The pacing also seems a bit rushed, we meet Miel and two minutes later she tells us her entire lifestory for example. Similarly the Oliver part seems kind of out of place with where and when it happened.
That all being said:
I really enjoyed what I played so far and am definitely going to continue playing future releases, I just wanted to give you honest feedback on what I thought about the existing parts up to now
Thank you so much for the feedback! We’re doing our best to keep the text as clean as possible, but since English isn’t our first language, we apologize for any mistakes. We’ll make sure to correct them whenever we notice them!
For Miel, this is actually the very first game and story we’ve ever written, honestly, we had no idea if the game would even get any downloads, but the support we’ve received has been incredible! Because of that, we’re already working on everything that still needs improvement! Alongside new chapters, we’ll also keep refining the existing ones, for example in v1.2 we completely remade the teacher design
As for Miel's story, at first we weren’t sure if the character would be appreciated or if her story would even matter to players. That’s why we presented it in a simpler way, mainly to see if readers cared (which we quickly realized they do) From now on, every interaction will feel much more natural!
Thank you again for trying our game and supporting us!
Something that might help for the grammar and spelling mistakes is having one or two proofreader, preferably people who's first language is English (for the english version at least).
Anyways, is there going to be a Discordserver for the game?
Yes! We're actually working on a Discord server!
By the way, did you play version 1.2 or an older one? Just so we know where to check!
I played v1.2, Things I meant are for example something like very early on
"So, Lussuria Academy huh, I'll [...]"
Where something like
"So Lussuria academy, Huh?
I'll [...]"
Feels a lot more intuitive to me for example.
Also "Great i have to mean the principal." should be "Great, I [...]"
In the Cafeteria the food appers from "tin air" instead of from "thin air"
Over all there are a lot of small "I" and "I'm' and such
I am very much looking forward to the new releases! Is the game going to be a pure VN or will it have Sandbox parts?
It will be a pure vn!
This game is perfect, it was exactly what I was looking for, it has beautiful characters and art, and I really hope the project doesn't die because I loved the game and its style. And it would be interesting if you added the Portuguese language in the future.
Thank you so much! We’re really happy you’re enjoying it so far ❤️ No worries, we’re fully committed to finishing it! Chapter 2’s demo will be available for our Patreon supporters in the next few days, and released for free in a couple of weeks (We already planned the story up to the very end of the game!).
Regarding languages, we’ve received a lot of requests and we’d love to support as many major languages as possible! As soon as we can afford translators, we’ll get to work on implementing them all!
one of the most beautiful furry game❤️
You are extremely kind, It's comments like this that push us to improve, thank you so much and we love you! ❤️
Super fun little VN. I recommended it to a few friends. I like the starts of the lore building up and i can't wait to see it evolve.
Thank you so much! We love you ~ ❤️
No prob. Honestly I usually wait for 2 or 3 chapters to download something but the art is just so... soft... invitng,,, warm... not sure how to explain it but I just feel relaxed and wanting to immerse myself in it.
You are so sweet, you have no idea how much it means to us, thank you a lot! ❤️
非常不错的游戏 值得尝试
Thank you a lot! We are really glad you enjoyed it!
:)
Ah yes racism
Hahaha, well don’t worry, we’ll tackle that subject with more depth in later chapters!
Will Chinese be published in the future
We plan to add translations into multiple languages in the future! We’d love to hire professional translators to let you have the best experience, but we need to wait until we have the necessary funds!
Will this game have the option to be in Spanish?
Hi! We plan to add translations into multiple languages in the future!
I really love this style, its so adorable!
Thank you! It means a lot to hear that you find it enjoyable! And thank you for trying our first Chapter!
I'm really looking forward to the Android version, if there will be one of course
Hi! You don’t have to wait much longer, V1.1 is coming out tomorrow with the Android version!
I really hit the jackpot with getting to this when i did. I've had the tab open for a week and just today got to playing it. Thanks for the android version!
We’re so glad you enjoyed the Android version! Thank you for taking the time to play our first chapter, it truly means a lot to us!
absolutely beautiful game! It would be amazing to have a gallery feature in a future update to view art for each character, both NSFW and SFW.
Thank you for the feedback and for trying our game! That's a great idea, we’ll make sure to include the gallery option in the next chapter!
just replayed, this addition is perfect!! <3
Thank you for the recommendation! We are really glad you enjoyed it! <3
Sorry but will there ever be an Android port version of this game, if there will be id really like that, thanks.
Hi! Yes the Android port is currently in development and will release really soon alongside version 1.1!
It seems like a very decent start of something? I have a lot of notes and feedback, but obviously you have a vision for this project. The most positive thing is that Miel's interactions are very enjoyable. Almost to the point I think the other characters will struggle to compete with her. But we shall see. The most negative thing I can say is a lot of the worldbuilding of the human-anthro conflict is sparse, and paints a very confusing picture if one tries to imagine how it all works, especially with the fact revealed later that anthros are basically magical-based creatures? I go over this more in my notes. Pacing is also kind of all over the place, but this isn't exactly the most rare of issues with itch VN's. though it does improve once Miel is introduced. I get you want to leave the MC blank, but it doesn't hurt to at least spend another 100 or so words to explain what's going on with him.
Alright, I'll start my feedback/observations now, based off my notes I took while playing.
1. intro and the entire conflict
Ugh, another "humans are the bad guys/instigators" trope is what I thought during the intro news report. Though I held my tongue and assumed more would be revealed later on. However I ended up having much more questions than answers by the end.
So, the anthro protesters in the beginning want equal rights with humans? Okay, so that kind of implies that anthros and humans have some kind of interactions already, though negative ones. The thing is, almost every character in the game has never seen a human before, so this implies that their societies are not integrated at all, if no one sees one another. But, at the same time, the school has a hybrid attending it?
The whole magic thing adds another confusing element. Is magic exclusive to anthros? The MC seems surprised by it, so I assume so. Why are magical beings incapable of gaining equal rights?l Do humans possess advanced technology that negates magic? The "advanced tech lab" seems to imply that it's not the case, unless the tech lab is anthros attempting to understand human technology, because it confuses them.
The MC involvement really needed a lot more fleshing out IMO. He's simply picked because he's picked. More options to say "I'm glad i Was picked, I am indifferent to being picked, I hate being picked."
This is my main problem with the pacing that I listed earlier.
I expected the Principal scene to fill in a lot of the world details but it was literally just "okay you're here, don't fuck this up"
2. *actions* and certain dialogue
I notice that *these* were showing up quite often. I am perfectly fine with this, but IMO a normal description of a bell going off is infinitely more fun to read compared to "ringbell goes off* (which by the way, is on the verge of being grammatical incorrect.) or *call incoming*
The tiger girl said <3. Personal opinion, but emotes and didalogue do not mix in a VN IMO.
..Even should be ...Even This popped up a lot. using 2 dots for ellipses instead of 3.
"Better start heading inside I guess"
Why did the CG show the MC inside the school already when this was said?
"you don't have a fur" should probably be "you don't have fur," OR make it "You don't have fur, wings, a tail, nothing..."
"I knew someone from your species were coming, but I didn't expect it" Should it be 'was coming'?
There really needed to be a double take "what kind of person starts a conversation like that? I just sat down!" option when Red Panda girl (Skye? Sorry, terrible with names) says "wanna mate?" when you first meet her.
"Outcast" during Miel and Oliver's scene was a weird word choice, given the MC hasn't done anything for people to think of him as an outcast (unless the their was a rumour started that the MC was rejected from human schools or something?)
I thought this scene was a good example of how to give the player a ton of options to choose what happens. It also had a lot of good character moments. You should use this as a template going forward for anything dramatic IMO.
*Bruh* Okay that made me laugh but I feel like the MC going "wha-" would be more fitting.
'toghether' instead of 'together' in the "let's do it" choice.
This isn't related to dialogue or actions, but please add buttons to this or future NSFW scenes so we don't need to click 10 times to advance the scene. (Slow/increase pace, and continue)
3. Final thoughtsThis VN does do that thing where you optionally fuck someone on your first day,, which I always think is a little fast, but I thought it was fitting for Skye's character to do that (I kind of expected her to be one of those "all talk, no actual experience" girls, though.)
First of all, thank you very much for taking the time to write such detailed feedback! We really appreciate it. English isn’t our first language, so some of the issues you pointed out (phrasing, grammar, pacing in dialogue) are especially useful for us to improve!
To address your points:
Worldbuilding and Intro Conflict
Most of the lore and worldbuilding (human/anthro conflict, segregation, magic, etc.) is planned to come out in later chapters. We didn’t want the first chapter to be just a long info dump of how things work, so instead we chose to ease the reader into it with more “day-to-day” interactions and more natural description later.
Why the MC is considered an outcast will become clearer in the story, it’s tied to something that happened and seemed small in this chapter but will develop into something much bigger!
The school’s structure, dorms, and why everything is contained inside the academy is a crucial point in why the student stated that they "never saw a human" The segregation caused by the conflict will play a central role later and it will explain more why the mc is the first human they see. For magic, how it works, why it works the way it does, and why it causes tension/why human didn't use it will also get much more depth in upcoming chapters.
Characters & Interactions
Every girl in the school (and in the game overall) will have her own background, story, and personal conflicts for the MC to get involved in, Miel’s family issues being just one example.
The snake character is indeed the hybrid, (we didn't want to spoil it like this, but it seems it caught your attention).
The MC being “randomly” chosen is intentional for now, we can't say much more for now sorry :c
Pacing & Style
We know the pacing is a bit fast at the start, and your suggestion about giving the MC more dialogue options (his feelings about being chosen, etc.) is something we’ll definitely consider! We didn't want the reader to be too pushed on an approach to something rather than another so we took the decision to make it more "neutral
Your point about the NSFW scenes (adding buttons to control pacing) is noted and will definitely be improved in future builds!
Again, thank you for taking the time to try out our game! your notes help us see what’s working well (like Miel’s interactions!) and what needs more refinement. We have a lot of worldbuilding and story to roll out in the next chapters, and we want to deliver it in a way that feels natural rather than overwhelming
Oh, that's really good to hear! I do get that this is more or less just a demo right now and yeah, having to read a lot about the world right away could easily turn people off. I'll just have to wait and see how it all plays out over time. Oh, and sorry about kinda spoiling the hybrid thing, but I was honestly just guessing because I saw people wondering why her face looked like that, and once I actually played it and got the hybrid clue I was like "Oh, is it her?"
Interesting premise! I'll check it out more in detail later.
Damn, this is really cool! Seems like there’s some lore in the world too, which never hurts, will there be new characters? So far I’ve only seen 3 girls (not counting the principal). Will more be introduced, or will the story mainly focus on them?
Thank you for the support! Yes there will be many new characters <3 Also a few of the next are visible in advance on the banner of the site!
is there / will there be futa content?
Hi! We will probably add some in the future chapters, obviously the choice to have those interactions will be entirely left to whoever plays it!